fear

So, I know it’s been like 4 months since I last wrote anything, the days are all the same.
But wow more than 1500 visitors… I am surprised…its not like I have been doing anything lately, not even reading, this is like the draught year and I haven’t got a job yet... its certainly the worst year ever with dying and failing and all that, the scary thing is that it can always get worse, and just when you think that it will be better, it doesn’t… but I am not that cynical or pessimistic, its just I cant talk like this around my friends or family, so its much easier to blurt it out on cyberspace… where no one knows you and no one cares… not as if they care here…

Anyways, it’s hard to put on a smiling face when you’re bursting inside and hard to cry, because people don’t like a whining child, but I am not pessimistic, because I thank God everyday, and I really have sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much that others don’t have, and I can enjoy so many things others don’t even appreciate, and because I have so many nice things inside of me, and because I look at the big picture…

but fear.. I can’t kill fear…