The Sentence - Anna Akhmatova

And the stone word fell
On my still-living breast.
Never mind, I was ready.
I will manage somehow.

Today I have so much to do:
I must kill memory once and for all,
I must turn my soul to stone,
I must learn to live again--

Unless . . . Summer's ardent rustling
Is like a festival outside my window.
For a long time I've foreseen this
Brilliant day, deserted house.

books and exams

I have unleashed the evil from Pandora’s Box, and I did it in a very bad time, why did I start the blog these days?!
My exams are less than 3 weeks away, and I want to get out of this stupid college, I already failed two midterms, and I have no idea what I did in the rest.

Anyways, I feel so bad because I haven’t read anything, ANYTHING, for 2 months now, I have never went through such a period of drought, I only read one or two issues of national geographic.

I got out so many books out the library to read, I already have “East of Eden” by John Steinbeck... which is very good candidate, I haven’t been to American 1920’s for quite sometime now, and well, it’s a very rich novel, I like family sagas, and I haven’t read anything for Steinbeck except "of mice and men" about 6 years ago.

But I had already decided that this year is solely for books, not novels, so there’s Freud’s “interpretation of Dreams” I read already around 70 pages in it, but its still is a long way, the book is 700 pages, I haven’t reached yet any of the interesting stuff, and I wont reach for sometime…

And then there is book that made me read War and peace: “Natasha’s Dance, a cultural history of Russia” I had read first about it in BBC’s History magazine, then when I saw it in AUC bookstore and for less than 100 LE I bought it… I just love Russian Literature, and I really believe that we as Egyptians can easily relate with them (well, at some point in our history and in their history, certainly not now) the peasants, rural life, the struggle between westernization and traditional beliefs and ways. It’s an immensely rich culture.

But then I feel guilty … How can I start reading a 700 page book about Russian Culture, and I haven’t finished yet the remaining 500 Pages in the the book “Tareekh elfekr elphalshy lel 3rb” I started that one around two and half years ago, and I totally admit I was a complete ignorant regarding Arab and Islamic Philosophy, but when I started reading I realized I was below ignorant, I just knew the names, I mean I heard about elmo3tazla, I read little about Shia3a, el7alag and ibn el3rbi, and I saw el maseer : )

I didn’t know the authors (my mistake of course, Hanna Elfakhoury & Khalil Elgar) and I was afraid the book would be biased or something, specially that I didn’t have anything to compare it with, it’s the first time I read about Islamic philosophy, but from my humble experience I think so far that its impartial.
I was totally dazzled with elmo3tazla, and I found ekhwan elsafa extremely interesting to the point that I started talking like them, “e3lam ayoha elakh”: ) but I stopped at Ibn El3rbi’s chapter, I remember when I was in thanwia amma we had a poem by him, and I was obsessed with it, I loved it so much, and it got me into reading mowsh7at elandalousia…. I am soooooo stupid why didn’t I continue the book; I have a book about elmowsh7at I should start reading that too.

And then there is the invincible Michel Foucault, after reading Edward Said’s “Orientalism” I thought the sky is limit, lets read Foucault and Wittgenstein and maybe Ulysses, so I went and bought “ The Archeology of knowledge” by Foucault, and when I started reading the first two pages, I realized this was the wrong place and the wrong time (February) elketab me7tag makhmakha, and winter isn’t the time, and certainly not spring, spring is the season of depression, and this isn’t certainly the kind of book I can read in CTA as I am going to college, or before I go to sleep.. This needs a3da lewa7do... so its back ma3a ekhwato on the bookshelf...

it wont be 2 month before I finish, a small play seems to be the most appropriate thing, or an Arabic novel, I hate to walk around with Arabic novels, people ask me all sort of stupid questions and comments like : bet7ki 3an eih elqesa, (shocked) eih dah bet2re naguib mahfoz?!

I hate exams…

olna mafish fayda

Well,

Since everyone is talking about it, I suppose I should too.

Last week I read in eldostour that our honorable (and only one I have known in my lifetime) president is giving a prolonged interview with Emad Adeeb who as they say will run his next Election campaign, and directed by sherif arafa , I noticed how they introduced him between brackets (director of the movie mafia) in a very obvious insinuation : )

I read somewhere (probably eldestour) that it’s expected that he will announce a big surprise. I thought akherha he’ll finally appoint a vice president, probably Omar Suliman…

So, of course I will watch it, but then it was a hectic week and I forgot so I just manage to see the last half hour of the first part.

First of all emad Adeeb Really gets on my nervous, can someone please tell me why does he “eat” words, why cant he articulate, why does he have to “cut” between every word and the other… anyways, it took me only 10 minutes to realize what this is about: The “show” is about to end and Mubarak is still parading his military accomplishments, so I realized this is it, this is what the show is really about, its just one big ad for mubarak, obviously he’s trying to make us ne7s 3ala damna, trying to remind us of the many sacrifices he made to this country and the accomplishments he made (which interestingly enough were all before he became president), so I switch to One TV to watch a sitcom…

The second day… its unbelievable they’re still talking about 1973 and elthaghra… they are trying to dazzle us with “history in the making” as Adeeb says showing us the command and control room and the real maps… Then he keeps talking about how a president should have good judgment call, especially in military matters, because he’s “qa2d ela3la lel qwat elmosla7a” and that it’s not an easy task (ekatb 3alina el7okm el3askri ba2i 7aytna ya3ni walla eih mesh fahmah) Maho Bill Clinton went to oxford instead of serving in Vietnam.. there was a lot of ay kalam, that any normal rational person can easily rebut, bas ma 3alina…

ghayar elqana…

Third day, this is the big day, ElAhram getting us all thrilled “President today decides whether or not he will run for office”, and again I manage to miss the entire hour and half of the show (lucky me) I get to the part where Emad Adib asks him about Emergency Laws and he answers back saying that he suggested an terrorist bill to the Egyptian parliament before and they had refused (eih, emta, leeeh, feen) and that if it weren’t for these laws we’d be in state of war now.. tayb tayb..

Then I notice something interesting, I suddenly remember that around 3 months ago I read in Soot elomma about Mohamed Sayed Said (I cant remember his name) he’s a socialist activist and writer, and Adel Hammouda was writing about how he got persecuted and his nadwa was cancelled in the Book Fair, Because in the open discussion that mubark holds every year in the opening of the book fair, he ventured to ask him questions that were quite “bold” and then Hammouda wrote the entire questions and how mubark answered..

Its déjà vu again, I hear the same questions from Adeeb again. “seyat elrays e7na mesh damneen law 7ad gheerk hay3ml feena eih” , then the same questions about emergency laws, it’s the exact way, the exact questions Mohamed Sayd asked!! Of course this time, Mubark doesn’t tell him “enta moshaghb” as he told Mohamed Sayd, He’s prepared and manages to answer saying nothing!

Anyways, we come to the final 64,000 $ question, and then we come to “ elba3ta” elkobra… this will be remembered as elba3ta elkobra le sant 2005, seriously ya3ni.. did people really expect anything from the guy!! Come on people, its may and the elections are in November…

I am just happy that I didn’t waste my time watching el talmee3 wel warneesh..

I am sorry for the poor fools who watched it, wasted more than 6 hours of their lives and expected him to step out of office…

I am really happy to realize that I made the right decision when I decided to stop buying elahram two months ago

Mafish Fayda

This is my first post,

For so long I have heard about blogs, but I have never really tried to explore them. I have been online for more than 8 years now, but I never realized how the net community here has grown until, I discovered this world.

As I read others blogs, I discover very different people, people who have something to say, people other than the ones I am so bored to death seeing everyday.

I have always wanted to write, but I was always maybe lazy, shy, or maybe it’s just my usual cynicism: it won’t make a difference… but maybe it will, I’ll just give it a try.

I can’t find a way. I can see all the paths clearly in front of me, and nothing makes a difference

حدوتة مصرية

مين هو صاحب المسألة و المشكلة والحكاية و القلم
رأيت كل شئ
و تعبت على الحقيقة
قابلت في الطريق عيون كتير برئية
اعرف بشر
عرفوني... ؟
لأ, معرفونيش
قبلوني و قبلتهم
بمد ايدي...لأ
طاب ليه متقبلنيش
لا يهمني اسمك
لا يهمني عنوانك
لا يهمني لونك
و لا ولادك

لكن
يهمني الأنسان
ولو مالوش عنوان
يا ناس يا ناس
هي دي الحدوتة
حدوتة مصرية