It physically hurts that I cant read or write. I feel so
I just wish I could pack all those past 5 years in one small box and put it under my disk.
Or just flush them down the toilet.
But we are the years, we are what we have become, not what we used to be.
I can’t go on crying for what I used to be and what I am not.
I was killed. Or did I kill myself... I certainly left myself bleeding to death.
I have never been through a fight in my life,
I never stood up for anything, not even for myself.
I can’t still deal with the person I have become.
و تعبت و اتخنقت و قرفت و زهقت مني
خلاص مش عايزاني تاني و لا بقيت فاهمة حاجة و مبقتش قادرة اعيط و
يا لهوي انتوا ازاي يا بشر عايشين من غير عياط
I know I have been in this depression for 3 years.. we ma7dsh 7ases, beyshofeni bad7k and joking about everything. We ma7desh geh zarni min gowa… yaaaaaaaaah none of them knows me, its so hard speaking a different language, and its so hard speaking a language not your own your entire life… I am starting to forget the alphabet.
Ana mot emta..
Why did I leave myself.
And why cant I pick my self again.
Wipe the tears, clean the floor, and remove the cobwebs with a mob.
2 comments:
BGd bgd U R so sens in a world don't allow 4 ppl like U to live as they want
my advice is to look for a person whom U can share him/her UR thoughts,feelings & UR life
person U can cry wiz
person U can admit to him/her of UR mistakes & UR dreams whatever it were
wish that helps U cuze U R lost ( just like me ) & I know such feeling it's completly nasty
wsih to hear from U that U restored URself & found the one who can help U in that ( may be that happen by net_friendship or may be not )
wish U good luck in that & sorry for UR last 5 years but U still young ( less than 25 years I guess ) so don gave UP
sabaa7 el khir
first i want to thank you for being courage enough to face yourself and know what's realy inside u
cuz many people never done it and spend their life avoiding that moment
you r so strong in ur feeling
and i guess your knlodge through reading have elvated your senses so much that u became so confident and went far above the challanges that face most other ppl
you know i once read a nice proverb( masael)
small mind people talke about other people , avrage people talke about events and great people talke about ideas
and you are one of that group the great ones
talking to your self is a sign of wisdome
have a great day
HAPPY EID
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